In this video I start delving into the practical aspects of sexual transmutation. The key is learning how to tap into masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy is about giving, feminine about receiving. As you learn how to access these two expressions of sexuality you can begin engaging in a passionate dance of connection, purpose, and motivation with all of life.
Motivation is the key to everything. If you can get yourself to *want* to do the things that are best for you, then guess what? You’ll do them, your life will improve and you’ll be way happier.
The thing is, most of us only know how to motivate ourselves using pain and pleasure. Sure this can work up to a point, but when it comes to the big challenges in life such as kicking bad habits and incorporating good ones, this sort of motivation really falls short.
In order to really start taking control of your life and breaking free from the prison of comfort you need to learn a new form of motivation. I call it “vertical” motivation and the key to getting it is through sexual transmutation.
It’s been a while since I’ve uploaded anything but I’m back with a new topic for my next sequence of videos! I’m going to be covering the art of sexual transmutation to help you learn how to make love to life!
These videos were inspired by the book King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette. It is designed to help you reach your full potential as a man by exploring the powerful archetypes necessary for creating a balanced and dynamic self.
Even if you’ve read the book I think you’ll enjoy these videos because I’ve put my own spin on each of the archetypes. I start with an intro video where I explain the idea behind this archetype work and then go through the Warrior, Magician, Lover, and finally the King.
In this video my fiancee’ Holly and I discuss how we handled my porn addiction together. As evidenced by our own journey there is definitely hope for anyone else who is handling a porn addiction and is in a relationship.
This video and blog is done for the NoFap Academy and I’m just putting it here until the new site is done. Sign up for the newsletter to get our free ebook “NoFap Hacks: Tips and Tricks for Quitting Porn”!
This post is about taking cold showers. The topic of cold showers has been discussed quite a bit in the NoFap community so I thought that I would give you all my take on it. I’m going to share my thoughts on why you should take cold showers and also give you some tips on how to maximize their effectiveness.
I actually went the entire month of September taking nothing but ice cold showers. For the entire month that temperature knob was set on maximum cold and it never budged an inch.
Now, some of you may be thinking “wow, that sounds terrible. also what the hell does this have to do with NoFap?” Well basically, I believe that taking cold showers is absolutely one of the most effective ways for you to get comfortable with discomfort. And being comfortable with discomfort is one of the biggest keys for successfully quitting porn.
Think about it – what is one of the main reasons for relapse? In most cases it’s that we can’t handle the discomfort of denying our urges to watch porn. When you are addicted to porn, your mind and body craves it. When you don’t answer that craving, it can be quite unpleasant! By taking cold showers you essentially gain practice at confronting the weakness of the flesh.
In fact, this idea can be applied to almost every obstacle in life. If you can step into an ice cold shower, then you can pretty much do anything. When we learn how to move forward despite that internal resistance – we gain true freedom. If you can take a cold shower, you can say no to porn. If you can take a cold shower, you can approach any girl. If you can take a cold shower, you could wrestle a gorilla. You might not beat him, or live, but at least you’d have the balls to try!
Tips for maximizing the effectiveness of cold showers
1. Commit to a set amount of time for doing cold showers. I did a month, but maybe you can just start off with a week or a couple of days. The true positive effects are cumulative so don’t short change yourself!
2. Turn the shower ALLL the way cold from the very beginning. Some people like to suggest that you start it warm and gradually make it cold. Don’t be a wuss! This defeats the purpose!
3.Observe your mental state throughout the process. This is an excellent opportunity for getting to understand how to control your mind under stress. When you first do this there are going to be a myriad of feelings running through you. Notice how you feel right before you get in, during the shower, and after.
These feelings will change as you practice your control under stress and will give you a tremendous advantage when dealing with other uncomfortable things. Ultimately try to approach the activity with a calm and nonplussed mindset. When you can approach a cold shower with the same mindset as a warm one then you’ve become significantly more badass.
4.Relax your body completely! This might be the most important thing and is the one that I focused on the most. You will realize that if you can completely relax your muscles, you feel far less discomfort. This is excellent practice for learning how to “embrace” discomfort. When you get all tensed up and contorted, that tension represents resistance to the experience.
By relaxing yourself, it shows that you have embraced the experience and when you do this, it becomes much more bearable. This is also true for dealing with urges to watch porn and really any other experience you have an aversion to.
5.Use cold showers as a healthier mood modifier (instead of porn). When you are finished with a cold shower chances are you will literally feel amazing. The first few times I did this I ended up just laughing afterwards. This kind of stress releases all kinds of pent up energy and endorphins and I now use it as one of my favorite ways of knocking me out of a negative or depressed mood.
After doing a whole month of cold showers they almost got too easy. Because of that I’ve decided to just mix in cold showers with my normal warm ones. That way they maintain their challenge and ability to sharpen my edge. I know that this tool is one that I’ll never completely remove from my self-development toolbox and I hope you find it just as useful!