Your Sexuality is Your Most Powerful Tool for Self-Development

This is a post I originally made on the NoFap Subreddit and was my first attempt at a serious contribution to the community! Original post can be found here.

Here is a breakthrough I just had that I knew I needed to share with all of you:

As a man, my ultimate goal is freedom. Things like guilt, fear, and addiction are like slimy tentacles that hold me back from walking in the sunlight as the person I want to be. Everyone has tentacles like this grasping at them, trying to steal their freedom.

When we are ensnared, the tentacles control us. The only thing that moves us forward is fear (not our own choice). So many of my “successes” were really motivated by fear of disappointing other people, or the fear of following my own path.

Our willpower is the blade that we use to cut these tentacles from us. The sharper our blade, the more effortlessly we slice through the bonds that trap us. However, if our blade ins’t sharp and well oiled, we have to hack away furiously to just get free from the smallest tentacle. So even if you can momentarily gain freedom, you are so exhausted from the struggle that you can barely get anything done before you get ensnared again.

This is what has been happening to me lately. I’ve come this far (27 days) but I’ve been barely able to do anything productive other than avoiding PMO. I felt like it has robbed all my strength. What I’ve realized is that I’ve been working with a dull blade.

This led to my epiphany that as a man, your sexuality is a whetstone that can be used to sharpen the “blade” of your willpower. Think about it, every time you get a sexual urge, you can use it to either dull your blade (PMO/lustful indulgence) or sharpen it (higher/pure expression). My blade’s edge was basically round when I started this quest and repeatedly failed again and again, hacking away with little more than a broom handle against the tentacles of PMO. Each success exhausted me to the point where I couldn’t fight the tentacles anymore and a future failure was inevitable.

But each time I succeeded in overcoming that urge, my blade got a little sharper and was honed by the experience. My willpower went from a broom handle, to a butter knife, to the moderately sharp pumpkin carving knife that has gotten me to 27 days. Now, when I get through an urge, I have enough energy left in the tank to tide me over as my stamina recovers to the point of being able to handle the next serious pang of urge-i-ness.

And guess what? Now that I know I’ve hit this equilibrium point, nothing is going to freaking stop me. I will use my sexuality to forge a massive two-handed greatsword of willpower. I’m going to slice through all the bullshit that holds me back and carve my way to my highest calling.

I welcome the urges now cuz I know these demons are just bitches I’m grinding to level up.


  • PMO/Addiction/Fear/Guilt are tentacles that wrap us up and hold us back
  • When we are completely wrapped up, the tentacles control us and our prime motivator is fear (not our own choice)
  • Our willpower is a blade that we can use to cut through these tentacles
  • If our blade is dull, it takes too much energy to cut through a tentacle and we are easily ensnared again (put back into fear mode)
  • Our sexuality is a whetstone that we can use to either sharpen our blade (through pure action) or dull our blade (through giving in)
  • As we continuously sharpen our blade, we can move out of fear motivated action (cut free from the tentacles) and venture forth into the world free to live our highest calling.

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