Day Nine today.
I haven’t even looked or got close to fappin’.
But last night, tragedy.
I was in My house and went to my guest bathroom. My Sex doll was there (it is a real doll, expensive looks and feels like the real thing). It is made in the image of my wife. I started to get it on and yup, fapped out.
Then I woke up today and realised it was all a fucked up dream.
What the hell?
So here’s my question. How do you deal with the dreams. Do you ignore them? Interpret them? Both?
I’m not gonna stress too much about it as it’s not like I chose it. I was sooo relieved when I woke up.
And no I don’t actually own a sex doll lol.
I’m gonna just let this be and take it as part of the drug lord beating I need to take to get clean for good.
Day nine. I’m not celebrating, I’m staying very cautious and careful.. doing EVERYTHING you advise.
Those gremlins are getting NAMED! Time to flip ’em.
Ah you totally got me there. I was about to get so bummed! So glad it was a dream! First off, I’m mad pumped that you are staying strong my friend! Keep killing it!!
Dreams are a very interesting topic especially in regards to NoFap. There’s a lot to say on but I’ll try to give you the important bits. Here’s my take on it: We have two parts of our mind – the conscious part, that we can subjectively experience, and the subconscious part which we cannot subjectively experience (otherwise it would be part of our consciousness). The subconscious is deep and complicated and is a massive part of us.
To use a computer analogy, the consciousness is the GUI (graphical user interface) it is the part of a computer program that we see and interact with. Here is where our willpower is in effect – you press a button and the thing you want to happen happens. But the subconscious is the code behind the the GUI. This code determines which buttons are available to press in the first place (so your willpower is limited to choosing options that your subconscious okays). But all this code is hidden.
So what happens if we want to change that code and thus change our conscious experience? Well we need to get into the subconscious. Since we cannot subjectively experience the subconscious, we must interact with it through projection. These projections take the form of symbolic experiences that we experience as objects – i.e. dreams.
So our dreams are views into the subconscious. When they are negative, you can think of them as “error messages” letting us know that something in our inner parts are not aligning harmoniously. It is through untangling these images that we can then correct these issues through conscious realization.
The most important thing to ask you is: what do you think this dream means? Each person’s internal symbolism is different. Analyze each piece and ask yourself “what does this represent”?
So here’s an example interpretation which may right on or way off: First you go into the guest bathroom – I’d assume that this is not your usual bathroom. I would think that this represents the shame of your sexual practices and the need to take it somewhere private (opposed to your regular bathroom that you would share with your wife). The second thing is the sex doll as your wife. This could be taken many different ways – it could be a symbol of you objectifying your wife and making her into a sex object. Or it could speak to your porn use cheapening your sexuality to the point where when you have sex with her it lacks the real loving connection and putting her on the same plane as your porn use. The fact that you ended up fapping may speak to the part of you that still is hanging on to PMO and is resentful of the pain of having to give it up. Or it could be an allusion that you will ultimately fail in your nofap quest unless you learn to express your sexuality in a higher way than the artificial level implied by the sex doll.
So hopefully that gives you an idea of how to start interpreting your dreams. Remember, these things I just said were just to get you thinking. Ultimately YOUR interpretation is the only one that matters. Hope this helps