Getting Married and Need to Kick Porn!

[Q]

Hi Man, 

I’m going to do it this time. I’m determined. I have been jerking it since I was like 11 and now I’m 30. It has lead me down many roads which I really wish I hadn’t have gone down and given me experiences that I know I would not have wanted to have if I wasn’t addicted to porn. Seriously, I have punished myself in many ways because of this. (you could make a really depressing movie out of some of it).

I want to be happy and get rid of this for good. Please keep these videos coming and good luck on your reboot too.

I’m on day 5 and can’t wait for day 30. I have a Fiancée and really want to do right by her too. She makes me so happy, but I constantly let her down in many areas of our relationship because of this. I don’t fap nearly as much as I used to, but still it’s a problem. I will lose her if I continue, I know it (she is supportive, but ultimately it’s up to me). I have to stop. 

We are getting hitched in exactly 30 days. Please, I beg you and the community.. if you can help keep me strong it would mean so much to me. So that on that day, I can experience our marriage with a more regular and sensitised brain and with zero guilt.

I would rather remain anonymous too if it’s ok. If you are going to mention me, you could call me Mr z or something. I have joined reddit and taken up swimming again. But I know myself too well, I’m just waiting for that re-lapse. 

I guess there is nothing to fear but fear itself though. I will keep STRONG AND CLEAN! 

I love your latest video, great tips. My biggest enemy is loneliness. Where I live, it’s hard to be around friends all the time and easy to be in the house. 

Thanks bro! When I’m clean and less ashamed, I will show my face and make videos for the community too!

Is there anyway we can make some sort of live chat room? where we are all logged on? A thread forum is slow to get something back from. But if people were on messenger, you could just dive into the room in an emergency and have a bunch of understanding people help you right there and then. Google hangouts? one rule (PANTS ON BEFORE WEBCAM ON)

What u think?

[A]

Hey man,

I’m really pumped to hear from you, I’ve seen a few of your comments and I appreciate the support!

Sounds like you really WANT to be committed, but honestly I’m not convinced. You sound like a really nice guy BUT I’M SMELLING WEAKNESS!

I’m going to be tough with you because my intuition says that’s what you need. You are on track to get married in a month and it’s no time for screwing around. How bad do you want to have an amazing marriage? Seriously, what would you be willing to do? How much pain are you willing to endure to ensure that your marriage and sexuality will be the best that they possibly can be?

Because it’s all about pain. A COMMITMENT automatically implies SELF-DENIAL. By entering into a commitment you are agreeing to deny yourself all of the privileges that are contrary to that commitment.

If marriage required that you had to stick your hand in boiling water for a minute, would you do it? What if twice a week for three months you had to get hooked up to an electroshock machine and get electrocuted, would you do it? I’ve been dating a girl for four years and I’m planning on marrying her and I sure as hell would do either and both if it meant I could be with her.

You may not have these kinds of overt physical torture, but you do have some hard shit to face. Are you going to run from the pain of being horny? Or are you going to be able to grit your teeth, throw yourself away from your computer and scream it out if you have to?

All the support in the world won’t make a difference if you aren’t willing to take whatever pain is coming. Learn to love that pain. Make it your friend. If you aren’t feeling it then you are repressing it and I explained in the video why that’s going to screw you over.

If you get down and dirty with your bad self and COMMIT to not giving in no matter what the pain then you should have no worries about relapse. Think of it this way, a drug lord rules your neighborhood block. He’s decided that he’s going to beat the shit out of your wife every day for the next three months. The only way you can save her is by taking the beating yourself. I don’t know about you, but if I was in that situation I’d die before letting him lay a hand on her.

The drug lord is your porn addicted brain. This addiction has already hurt your girl and will continue to do so unless you stand up to it and take the abuse instead of her.

If you can’t do this, I honestly don’t think you should be getting married. If you aren’t willing to take pain of bettering yourself, then your marriage will fail anyway just like the half of all marriages today that do. Because if you aren’t willing to take the pain now, why would you be able to take it later when your relationship is having it’s inevitable rough spots and you need to rise above it?

Stay strong, stay clean, kick some freaking PMO ass.

p.s. there is a NoFap IRC chat for realtime support: http://webchat.freenode.net/?channels=nofap

Leave a Reply