Finding the Root of the Problem

Hi Mark,
I just wanted to say hi and tell you a bit what has happened to me over the last few years. I am 24 years old, I have been semi-regularly consuming porn since age 15 or so. I lost my virginity when I was 18 and the first few times were terrible – could barely keep it up and suffered from delayed ejaculation. I just shrugged it off – anxiety or whatever. Never thought it was related to my consumption of tube style porn.

Over the years my addiction escalated: I used to like softcore single scenes, then it escalated to hardcore copulation, and eventually to nasty fetishes. I was so ashamed – I am a respectful guy and I really value women, but I found myself seeking degrading and insulting porn to satisfy urges. Then I met my first serious girlfriend – we were together for about a year. I had a lot of trouble pleasing her – she was not understanding and put a lot of pressure on me. I had no idea my lack of sexual performance had to do with my addiction. Eventually the relationship broke down.

A few months after I met my second girlfriend – we were together for 3 years until 6 months ago or so. At first, the same issues arose: erectile disfucntion and delayed ejaculation. Over time, and after I stopped consuming porn out of respect towards her more than anything else, our sexual partnership got much better – to the point where old ghosts about sexual impotence were literally forgotten. Until the end of our relationship – the last few months were not great for a variety of reasons, and I relapsed into massive porn consumption. This time it was really bad – extreme stuff got boring very quickly, and I quickly fell into bad ED. Still did not associate it to porn. We broke up – and I fell into a even larger porn addiction stage. Until about 2 months ago.

I have met the most amazing girl – she is beautiful, smart, hot, funny – and she really likes me too. We are both very excited to get to know each other better – except my performance in bed has been dreadful. I am very attracted to her, but I have a lot of trouble keeping it up. I have gone to a doctor, and I have been taking viagra for a few weeks now – which is great, but doesn’t feel right – I want to have a more natural connection with her. About a month ago i found your website and – and EVERYTHING clicked.

Reading the stories of people was like reading my own story. I have not consumed porn for over a month now – I still have not seen any major “natural” performance improvement with my new partner, but I am very attracted to her and I really want it to make it work. I have not told her anything about this – she knows I am taking the pills but I just shrug it off as anxiety. I worry about what she might think about me and there is a fear of loss – but I am going to fight for this.

I have promised myself never to access any porn site ever again – it is just not worth it. I think I can do it. I just wanted to thank you for what you are doing and let you know that there are many cases out there – especially in young men. This really has to become an issue, high speed porn addiction is going to become (already is) a serious public health issue – and I thank you for your time and effort to combat it.

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