Today’s topic is about the difference between pleasure and fulfillment, and how understanding and acting on this difference is what separates men from boys.
A mature man will choose fulfillment over pleasure every time. Fulfillment is the feeling of true satisfaction. Just look at the word, FULL-FILL-ment. It’s a sensation of fullness, of being filled up. This leaves you with a feeling of contentment and needing nothing more.
However, pleasure is what boys seek. Pleasure is stimulation, excitement, something that makes you feel good in the moment. But when it is not aligned with fulfillment, pleasure leaves you empty, drained, and craving more.
A massive problem I see with men today is that we have become slaves to pleasure and lost sight of fulfillment. What this has amounted to is a bunch of boys running around in men’s bodies wrecking shit because they haven’t been taught the difference.
You see, fulfillment is the product of positive growth. When you do good things, your reward is being fulfilled. What’s even better is that the benefits of these kinds of actions stick around. Here are some examples of things that lead to fulfillment:
- Doing work which you are passionate about
- Engaging in meaningful romance
- Creating art
- Spending quality time with family or friends
- Working out
- Healthy eating
- True relaxation
The benefits of pleasure however, disappear as soon as you stop engaging in the behavior
- Watching trash tv
- Surfing trash internet
- Junk food
- Jerking off to Porn
- (In a lot of cases) Videogames
We’ve been lied to today. We’ve been taught that pleasure is the be-all end all, and it is what we should strive for. However, that’s total bullshit. The reason we are told this lie is because you can sell pleasure and make money off of it.
Additionally, at first glance pleasure may even seem superior to fulfillment. This is because pleasure is fun right up front, but often with fulfillment you have to put some work in before you get the reward.
So is pleasure a bad thing?
Do I think that pleasure is evil? That it should always be avoided? No, not at all. But a mature man aligns his pleasure WITH fulfillment. A mature man gets sexual pleasure from a loving and meaningful relationship. He reads pleasurable books or watches pleasurable shows that have artistic value that inspires him, and makes him think. When he plays videogames it’s to explore an intriguing world or to have fun with friends (instead of playing to kill time and escape reality). When he eats junk food (if he does at all) it’s in the context of an overall healthy diet.
Pleasure is not bad in itself, it is only bad when it exists in a vacuum. When this is the case, pleasure is like a black hole that devours your time and energy, making you want more and more. When you live for pleasure, your life starts to fall apart around you because you are not building it up with fulfilling activities. The worse things get, the more you need to escape them with more pleasure. It’s a never ending cycle that sucks you dry.
Look at any kind of addict, whether it’s porn, alcohol, or drugs – eventually it reduces people to a shell of what they were because their pursuit of pleasure has sucked the life out of them.
The question I want to leave you with is this:
How much energy are you giving to empty pleasure and how much to fulfillment?
Seriously, take a look at how you spend your time and see where you are putting your energy. Chances are this will give you an extremely powerful insight as to why you feel the way you do about life.
Man up and stay clean!